STRIPES & POLKA DOTS

STRIPES & POLKA DOTS

Shapes and colors make me happy. I like abstract paintings. I like Picasso. I like solid colors - blue, red, yellow, green and orange. Sometimes I like neon. I like geometric lines and shapes. I'm particularly fascinated with squares. Not so much with waves and unclosed curves. I don't like Baroque-inspired designs. I don't like paintings of the Madonna and Child, farmers in the field, flowers in vases, and fruits in baskets. They hurt my eyes.

Name::xam
From::Metro Manila, Philippines
i'm a pirate at heart. i'm smart, ruthless and greedy. yesterday i navigated the seas and my comrades died in battle. today i am trapped in davy jones' locker. but tomorrow i will find gold, i will be free and i will roam the seas again.
Learn more about Sam

EVERYBODY'S CHANGING

Celia and Me having a difference in opinion :)

this baby is that man

my multiplication table

wench

myu

"I believe that imagination is stronger than knowledge
That myth is more potent than history.
I believe that dreams are more powerful than facts -
That laughter is the only cure for grief.
And I believe that love is stronger than death."
~Robert Fulghum, It Was On Fire When I Laid Down On It

****

You Belong to Me

See the pyramids around the Nile
Watch the sun rise
From the tropic isle
Just remember darling
All the while
You belong to me
See the market place
In old Algiers
Send me photographs and souvenirs
Just remember
When a dream appears
You belong to me

And I'll be so alone without you
Maybe you'll be lonesome too

Fly the ocean
In a silver plane
See the jungle
When it's wet with rain
Just remember till
You're home again
You belong to me

Oh I'll be so alone without you
Maybe you'll be lonesome too

Fly the ocean
In a silver plane
See the jungle
When it's wet with rain
Just remember till
You're home again
You belong to me

****

What's Up

Twenty - five years and my life is still
Trying to get up that great big hill of hope
For a destination
And I realized quickly when I knew I should
That the world was made up of this brotherhood of man
For whatever that means
And so I cry sometimes
When I'm lying in bed
Just to get it all out
What's in my head
And I am feeling a little peculiar
And so I wake in the morning
And I step outside
And I take a deep breath and I get real high
And I scream at the top of my lungs
What's going on?
And I say, hey hey hey hey
I said hey, what's going on?
Ooh, ooh ooh
And I try, oh my god do I try
I try all the time, in this institution
And I pray, oh my god do I pray
I pray every single day
For a revolution
And so I cry sometimes
When I'm lying in bed
Just to get it all out
What's in my head
And I am feeling a little peculiar
And so I wake in the morning
And I step outside
And I take a deep breath and I get real high
And I scream at the top of my lungs
What's going on?
And I say, hey hey hey hey
I said hey, what's going on?
Twenty - five years and my life is still
Trying to get up that great big hill of hope
For a destination

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Tuesday, June 21, 2005

In consolation to myself, at least now I have some time for myself. A few days more to plan out my life, a few hours more to reflect, a few minutes more to look at myself in the mirror, a few seconds more to space out.

Just a little more time. A few more days in a week. A few more hours in a day. A few more minutes in an hour. A few more seconds in a day.

Yes, a little more time. Like, a year. Or two. For myself. Just for myself. (I'm convincing myself that it's really FOR myself rather than BY myself, which sounds rather pathetic.)

What's a year anyway? That's 4.38% of my life so far. A year from today, that would be about 4.2%. Quite long, because I'm young. If I'm 1000 years old, a year is nothing. But I'm young, still. Considering that 100% of my life means everything that has every happened to me (whether I remember the events or not), 4% means quite a lot of making and erasing memories. It's a giant bulk of memory.

But life's not about the length of time. It's about becoming, always becoming, over time, until that last moment of definition just before dying. This becoming part, is important, because what really matters is that definitive end. And the closer to the end the event is, the clearer it is, the more power it has to change us, to change whatever factor in the past has molded us. This, I suppose, why people are afraid of change. Because no matter what has happened in the past, the more recent events have more weight than the more previous ones.

When I was five years old, I had a best friend and now we're out of touch. When I was ten, I had a best friend and now we're out of touch. When I was fifteen I had a best friend and now we're out of touch. When I was twenty, I had a best friend and now we're out of touch. Now I'm twenty-fiveish, I have a best friend. When I die at thirty, and assuming, God forbid, that we lose touch, this twenty-five-ish best friend of mine would be dearest to me. This twenty-five-ish best friend would be my real best friend. Of all time.

The present always have and advantage over the past. The last has the greatest advantage.

In a year, I could change. I would not be the me I when I first came here. My only hope is that with a little more time for myself, I would grow into a better person. At least, the person I'll be is someone borne (?) out of contemplation. This new person I'll be, that's what's scaring me. But at least I could still be comforted with a thought: The present always have and advantage over the past. The last has the greatest advantage.

I may be staying here for a while. But I don't think I'll DIE here. I simply won't allow it. (God forbid it)

Posted by xam :: Tuesday, June 21, 2005 :: 1 Comments:

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