Friday, November 11, 2005

the xlammer motivational theory (SERIOUSLY)

background:
My xlammer motivational theory occurred to me yesterday when I realized that’s it’s always hard to get myself out of bed and start working. I’m in a sales job, so I get to set my itinerary for each month, week or day. I could work around my schedule to choose which one suits MY lifestyle (of course, subject to certain external constraints).

This gives me the freedom to play around. Pretend that I’m doing admin work in a café when actually I’m just blogging. Like right now, I’m at a carwash and obviously, I’m not working.

Yesterday morning, I felt the dryness of my face. I didn’t get much sleep the night before, doing some blog page designing and surfing the net for about 5 hours. Not very productive. I smoked the entire night. In the morning, I decided to catch up on my work back log and gave it a mere 30 minutes. In the middle of a traffic jam, I started applying my eyebrow make-up. And yes, my face still felt and was dry. I didn’t put on any moisturizing cream, though I had one back at home. I started to wonder why the hell I never failed to put eyebrow make-up (even in the middle of a traffic jam) and why I couldn’t get myself in a regular moisturizer-lotion regime. Why I couldn’t get myself to work straight 8 hours, when I can surf the net and blog and all for 8 hours.

Why do I do things and why don’t I do things? Why do I start doing things and why do I stop doing things? I made a mental check if it’s because of the Reinforcement Theory – that is, I get negative reinforcement (i.e. punishment) or positive reinforcement (i.e. recognition) for the consequences of the things I do. Doesn’t quite hit the spot. I guess for dogs, that could work. But no, not for me. I checked the Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs. No. I prefer smoking to eating (eating being an obvious immediate need). Freud, too outrageous. Many more theories around. Doesn’t work for me.

So here comes the xlammer motivational theory…

the xlammer motivational theory

I have three answers. First, when I’m driven by a real, unshakable fear or insecurity. Second, when I’m addicted to that thing. Third, I have an unquenched curiosity.

(1) Real, unshakable, internal fear or insecurity

For example, I’ve always been insecure about my eyebrows. An insecurity deeply embedded in me, definitely won’t go away in the near future. I though about other people. Yes, health buffs are afraid of becoming unhealthy. A lot of actions come from fear. Fear of being alone. Fear of losing someone. Fear of becoming a loser. Fear of hell.

No, it’s not negative reinforcement. Negative reinforcement is fear of something external. It doesn’t work because when I, for instance, know that I can get away with it, I WILL continue to do something even if I know that I’ll get disapproval.

There are conditions for this fear to become a motivating factor - it must be real, unshakable, internal, and it must be avoidable through action. It must also be something you’re sure exists and will happen - take religion and hell, for instance. When you’re in denial, even just a bit, if you don’t really believe, it won’t work. When you know it's something that will happen anyway and can't be avoided, you will resign to that fact. So there.

Anyway, people will always do anything to run away from fear or insecurity. The thing now is that I’m starting to fear ageing. If this fear will continue to embed itself in me, I will start to use moisturizing cream – religiously.

So now the only question here is… How do we become afraid? How do we internalize fear of something in order to do what is necessarily good and thus postpone or avoid what we fear?


(2) Addiction

Second example: smoking. I keep on smoking. I spend on smoking – cigarettes and lighters, because I’m addicted. I know it’s bad for me, but I continue to do it because I’m addicted. I blog because I’m addicted. I work my ass out on something because I’m hooked. This even encompasses fear sometimes. When I’m addicted to something, I don’t even care about what I become or what the consequences are. I keep on doing it. This is not about passion, it’s about addiction, and come to think of it, there’s only a thin line. The difference is that passion is something burning inside your heart, the feeling even more powerful than thought. Addiction is something that you have become chemically or mechanically inclined to do. It is not a feeling, although it is commonly confused as one. In the chemical side, your body starts to crave for that thing (drug abuse, nicotine addiction, coffee addiction, oversleeping, and the like). In the mechanical side, the mixture of repetition and momentum creating a state similar to obsessive compulsion (my premise here is that obsessive compulsion is a natural psychological state, not a disorder.). Because by mere accident you started to do something repetitively (say 5 times, every night, for 1 week), you become inclined to repeat it as a natural reaction (here comes obsessive compulsion). That’s why there’s a separation anxiety when we’ve been with people or friends for quite a while. This is how we form good or bad habits.

The thing about addiction is that it begins with curiosity. Another thing is, we don’t need fear in order to do things for only one time, what we need is curiosity. By a second state of curiosity (when the first curiosity was not satisfied) or a third (and so on), the addiction begins. Sometimes, it’s by mere chance.

(3) Curiosity

Third example: smoking and blogging. The first time I smoked, I was curious. The first time I blogged, I was curious. Then came in addiction. When you start a job and you’re still curious, you’re fired up. When the curiosity has died down, the fire dies, and you stop to be fired up (or you get fired, haha). You do not become addicted. You do not develop a genuine fear (say, for your boss or losing your job). Therefore, there are no “good” habits formed.

summary
To sum things up, all habits start with curiosity or fear. Real motivation is not about compliance. We comply to external things. Compliance – that’s another thing. Real motivation will make a person do something no matter what other people think or say, no matter the consequences, no matter the circumstances. That’s REAL MOTIVATION.

So, in order to start doing something, I have to either become genuinely afraid of the consequences of not doing it, chemically or mechanically addicted to it, or curious about it. To stop doing something, I must become genuinely afraid of the consequences of doing it or my curiosity must be quenched. Thing is, addiction is harder to stop and may never be stopped especially if the curiosity remains unquenchable and the fear is not strong enough to become deeply ingrained in the psyche. Incidentally, this is why addiction is the strongest motivation around to keep on doing something.

Think about it. What do you do or don’t do? What made you start doing something or what made you stop doing something? Wanna start doing something? Wanna stop doing something? The xlammer motivational theory is the answer. :) Works for individuals, groups, corporations, sports, educational systems, the works! Hahahaha! Seriously, it applies. (Do I hear a “Eureka” from the far corners of my mind? Hehehe. Now I’m a psychologist. I thought I was a philosopher. Hehehe.)

Posted by xam :: Friday, November 11, 2005 :: 0 Comments:

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