STRIPES & POLKA DOTS

STRIPES & POLKA DOTS

Shapes and colors make me happy. I like abstract paintings. I like Picasso. I like solid colors - blue, red, yellow, green and orange. Sometimes I like neon. I like geometric lines and shapes. I'm particularly fascinated with squares. Not so much with waves and unclosed curves. I don't like Baroque-inspired designs. I don't like paintings of the Madonna and Child, farmers in the field, flowers in vases, and fruits in baskets. They hurt my eyes.

Name::xam
From::Metro Manila, Philippines
i'm a pirate at heart. i'm smart, ruthless and greedy. yesterday i navigated the seas and my comrades died in battle. today i am trapped in davy jones' locker. but tomorrow i will find gold, i will be free and i will roam the seas again.
Learn more about Sam

a few highlights

2006 NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTIONS

i'm happy!

Unresolved Resolutions

the long wait should be over

my multiplication table

wench

myu

"I believe that imagination is stronger than knowledge
That myth is more potent than history.
I believe that dreams are more powerful than facts -
That laughter is the only cure for grief.
And I believe that love is stronger than death."
~Robert Fulghum, It Was On Fire When I Laid Down On It

****

You Belong to Me

See the pyramids around the Nile
Watch the sun rise
From the tropic isle
Just remember darling
All the while
You belong to me
See the market place
In old Algiers
Send me photographs and souvenirs
Just remember
When a dream appears
You belong to me

And I'll be so alone without you
Maybe you'll be lonesome too

Fly the ocean
In a silver plane
See the jungle
When it's wet with rain
Just remember till
You're home again
You belong to me

Oh I'll be so alone without you
Maybe you'll be lonesome too

Fly the ocean
In a silver plane
See the jungle
When it's wet with rain
Just remember till
You're home again
You belong to me

****

What's Up

Twenty - five years and my life is still
Trying to get up that great big hill of hope
For a destination
And I realized quickly when I knew I should
That the world was made up of this brotherhood of man
For whatever that means
And so I cry sometimes
When I'm lying in bed
Just to get it all out
What's in my head
And I am feeling a little peculiar
And so I wake in the morning
And I step outside
And I take a deep breath and I get real high
And I scream at the top of my lungs
What's going on?
And I say, hey hey hey hey
I said hey, what's going on?
Ooh, ooh ooh
And I try, oh my god do I try
I try all the time, in this institution
And I pray, oh my god do I pray
I pray every single day
For a revolution
And so I cry sometimes
When I'm lying in bed
Just to get it all out
What's in my head
And I am feeling a little peculiar
And so I wake in the morning
And I step outside
And I take a deep breath and I get real high
And I scream at the top of my lungs
What's going on?
And I say, hey hey hey hey
I said hey, what's going on?
Twenty - five years and my life is still
Trying to get up that great big hill of hope
For a destination

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Wednesday, January 18, 2006
another one of those entries

The anticipation of change can kill you.

In the next few weeks, many things will happen that can turn my life upside down – in a good or bad way. Things that can change who I will be in this life and the kind of life I’ll live.

After the crazy next few weeks, I will have new directions for myself. Maybe even a new job in another company, or a new job in the same company. Maybe an entirely new track. February 2006 will define my life, and I can almost not handle the prolonged agony of waiting. It’s only a few more days, yes, but the implications are life-changing.

The anxiety has almost driven me to the edge, spending sleepless nights and sleepful days. I toss about in bed at night until the sunlight strains my eyes, and then I find all means to steal sleep while everything and everyone else is out and about. How many times have I pretended this month that I’m working when I’m really just enjoying the comfort of my bed? I wake up after a supposedly satisfying slumber and I’m aching all over as though I’ve worked out for hours.

I can hardly think straight and I don’t know if I’m excited or nervous or both or neither. I want to fast-track things and then I want to bide time to catch the train. I obsess over the most mundane things and abandon all that’s necessary. I want to forget about everything but I can’t stop thinking about the possibilities. I watch TV to kill time only to realize later that yes, I did kill time and man, I wasted it. And all the while TV programs are making me more sick and confused. Sometimes I feel my heart pound a little too strong, off-the beat, literally hammering through my chest wall for fear of stopping all of a sudden.

I wonder and I ponder at all this blunder. Ha. What else is there to do but wait? But there is, you know, there is. There is time to map out a plan to get what I want. There is time to catch up on things and iron everything out before running off to my new life. Ah, my new life. That’s just it. That’s just what’s been killing me these days. The anticipation of change really can kill you. And I think that’s just what’s happening to me.

I guess you can mark that on my gravestone, if I die before the change. Otherwise, I’d be happy with “I wonder and I ponder at all this blunder, and now I’m six feet under.”

There goes nothing. Time to sleep. Sun’s up.

Posted by xam :: Wednesday, January 18, 2006 :: 1 Comments:

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