STRIPES & POLKA DOTS

STRIPES & POLKA DOTS

Shapes and colors make me happy. I like abstract paintings. I like Picasso. I like solid colors - blue, red, yellow, green and orange. Sometimes I like neon. I like geometric lines and shapes. I'm particularly fascinated with squares. Not so much with waves and unclosed curves. I don't like Baroque-inspired designs. I don't like paintings of the Madonna and Child, farmers in the field, flowers in vases, and fruits in baskets. They hurt my eyes.

Name::xam
From::Metro Manila, Philippines
i'm a pirate at heart. i'm smart, ruthless and greedy. yesterday i navigated the seas and my comrades died in battle. today i am trapped in davy jones' locker. but tomorrow i will find gold, i will be free and i will roam the seas again.
Learn more about Sam

THE WAY WE LOVE

Commute

Tamang Lyrics

ano, sino, saan, kelan, magkano

miswa

Cursed are Zombies

POLL RESULTS - ENUH'S DECEMBER FOM

Ugh!

Rest in Peace

the xlammer motivational theory (SERIOUSLY)

my multiplication table

wench

myu

"I believe that imagination is stronger than knowledge
That myth is more potent than history.
I believe that dreams are more powerful than facts -
That laughter is the only cure for grief.
And I believe that love is stronger than death."
~Robert Fulghum, It Was On Fire When I Laid Down On It

****

You Belong to Me

See the pyramids around the Nile
Watch the sun rise
From the tropic isle
Just remember darling
All the while
You belong to me
See the market place
In old Algiers
Send me photographs and souvenirs
Just remember
When a dream appears
You belong to me

And I'll be so alone without you
Maybe you'll be lonesome too

Fly the ocean
In a silver plane
See the jungle
When it's wet with rain
Just remember till
You're home again
You belong to me

Oh I'll be so alone without you
Maybe you'll be lonesome too

Fly the ocean
In a silver plane
See the jungle
When it's wet with rain
Just remember till
You're home again
You belong to me

****

What's Up

Twenty - five years and my life is still
Trying to get up that great big hill of hope
For a destination
And I realized quickly when I knew I should
That the world was made up of this brotherhood of man
For whatever that means
And so I cry sometimes
When I'm lying in bed
Just to get it all out
What's in my head
And I am feeling a little peculiar
And so I wake in the morning
And I step outside
And I take a deep breath and I get real high
And I scream at the top of my lungs
What's going on?
And I say, hey hey hey hey
I said hey, what's going on?
Ooh, ooh ooh
And I try, oh my god do I try
I try all the time, in this institution
And I pray, oh my god do I pray
I pray every single day
For a revolution
And so I cry sometimes
When I'm lying in bed
Just to get it all out
What's in my head
And I am feeling a little peculiar
And so I wake in the morning
And I step outside
And I take a deep breath and I get real high
And I scream at the top of my lungs
What's going on?
And I say, hey hey hey hey
I said hey, what's going on?
Twenty - five years and my life is still
Trying to get up that great big hill of hope
For a destination

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Saturday, December 03, 2005
the long wait should be over

i don't know what i'm waiting for. i'm waiting for something. even working endless nights for it. i don't know what for.

maybe i'm dwelling too much on the trivial. maybe i've been looking at everything all wrong. it still surprises me that for the past 6 months i've been living like an adult, but not really succeeding at it. i know adulthood is not supposed to be just about responsibilities and getting bills paid. it has something more to do with shredding of old skin and starting anew (hell i don't know what that new thing would be) - a process that doesn't necessarily happen overnight.

sometimes i meet 7-seven-year old adults and i get embarrassed about myself. the pain of the years etched on their supposedly young eyes, speaking in slow syllables, profound meanings locked between short moments of silence. whereas i, i wake up in the morning and my concerns are no different from ten years ago. and i'm always on the hurry to get things done in the shortest possible time, only to end up surprised that i have aged doing it - far too long or far too stressful, i don't know.

i refer to my ageing as something different from my entering adulthood. see, my father doesn't sharpen my staedtler pencils anymore, and instead of doing it myself, i only have unsharpened pencils all the time. my mother doesn't wash my clothes anymore, so when i wake in the morning, i step on dirty laundry all the way to the bathroom. things like these show that i may no longer have any adult looking after me, but that certainly doesn't mean i'm already an adult looking after myself.

what a waste, i always say to myself. years of effort to become a responsible human being, and i ended up a slob. i could hardly move in my place, i could hardly breathe inside my car. files and bills and thoughts scattered about, nothing is getting done, not even growing up.

all i have developed so far is allergic rhinitis, three layers of cellulite belts, prematurely ageing skin of my own doing, and a life already going downhill. apparently, the past few years was already my life's peak.

the future's bleak, and i can only hope that a few years from now i would look back to say, that was then, and boy am i glad that's over. that this is just part of the becoming. but today - right this moment - i'm here, in this state. waiting for something.

Posted by xam :: Saturday, December 03, 2005 :: 2 Comments:

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