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Sunday, September 09, 2007

for more surprises

more suprises. i've become so strong or hardened, i really can't tell which. i've changed. radically. overnight. i'm not even the wargoddess i thought i was. i have lost the energy to fight. i have lost the will to confront. or reconcile. i'm just plain tired. or is it the other way around? conversely: i have gained the patience to count from 1 to 10 before striking. i have learned to think before i act. i'm have mastered the art of sportsmanship.

debbie said i deserve some sportsmanship award.

i wonder how this happened.

have i lost it? have i become so bitter i'm willing to settle for less than what i deserve? have i lost my sense of self-worth? or have i instead become wiser, losing the urge to be ruthless.

this is a totally new me, and it's so god damned scary!!!

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Posted by xam :: Sunday, September 09, 2007 :: 1 Comments:

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